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Saturday, June 1, 2013

Fast and Furious 6 Movie in Malacca

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1QgNF6J1h0


In Melaka we managed to catch Furious 6 although daughter is not yet 18 and the movie had a PG18 rating!
Melaka Mall

We merely bought 3 adults tix, then coolly walked in, the under 18 included!!! The first cinema MBO at Melaka Mall did not allow us to purchase the tickets, at the second LFS at Mahkota Parade,

Mahkota Parade
LFS Cinema
 we hovered around out of view while Dad tackled the ticketing box...
and no wonder: the show had lots of needless mayhem and gross violence with cars exploding killing innocent people inside. 
Even crazily shown was Diesel being shot but he treated it like a mere mozzie bite and removed the bullet like it was a 0.001 cm splinter.

 Best described by this reviewer: (he called it vehicular violence and roadkill) and I quote him:


Wednesday 13 February 
Planes explode, cars are crushed and lives are ruined … in more cheerful news, the eye-watering pile-up  that is this extended trailer could mean you don't have to watch the movie
With the exception of the critically acclaimed Fast & Furious 4: Ballad of a Winter's Morn, all previous instalments have been an impressively dumb barrage of full-throttle, pedal-to-the-metal explosions – albeit a barrage that's padded out with endless low-budget scenes of mumbled subwoofer dialogue.
So here, then, are all the key scenes from Fast & Furious 6, without any of the interminable bits where Vin Diesel murmurs about logistics in a voice so deep that it causes involuntary bowel collapse.

(N0 N0!!! we did not get to see this: censored in Malaysian cinemas)
The opening sequence, in which everyone gets to see the Vin Diesel sex scene that they very firmly didn't request. Please note: because this isn't an action scene, there's a good chance Diesel is whispering monotonously about blueprints into this poor young lady's ear.


The scene in which a man stands on top of a van and shoots it with a machine gun. Yeah, bloody vans. They've got it coming, the gits.


The scene in which, to stop this wanton van-shooting epidemic, the Rock gathers together the Fast & Furious all-stars. Five men. One woman. About three necks. One slightly awkward plug for Diet Coke. Together they will DO THIS.


The scene in which Vin Diesel and someone else have a drag race outside what appears to be Admiralty Arch (even though that sounds logistically suspect) in front of Rita Ora and an audience of scantily clad young women (even though in real life it would be spotty, male 13-year-old Max Power readers and the whole thing would have been stopped by the police long ago).


The scene where two cars explode and kill everyone on board, even though they were probably going home to see their families; families who will now be set adrift on the painful realisation of their loved ones' needless deaths.


The scene where a tank crushes a car, even though the car's driver was probably rushing to the hospital to see his wife give birth to their first child; a child who will now grow up with a number of catastrophic emotional disorders because its mother will always equate its birthday with the tragic death of her beloved husband.


The scene where … oh God. Why? Why do people have to die?



The scene where this happens. I don't know exactly what's going on, but it's a fair bet that at least one of the people in this image won't make it. You know what? Life is nothing but a cruel joke.


The split-second, almost subliminal scene of some sexy girls dancing in little skirts inserted into a montage of violent mayhem, presumably so we'll all start to subconsciously become sexually aroused by the thought of death, and end up committing all manner of horrific atrocities because it's the only way we think we'll ever receive any form of love.


The scene where an aeroplane explodes. Admittedly this does look quite cool.

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